


admittance

by yeolnuts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 07:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolnuts/pseuds/yeolnuts
Summary: It’s ironic that of all possible blossom it is sunflowers, vibrant in their golden hue, that makes room in his throat.





	admittance

**Author's Note:**

> \- as always, unbetaed OTL

 

The flower tasted of bitterness and salt and heartache in his mouth. Tasted like velvety death filled with silence one smothering yellow petal at a time.

 

It’s ironic that of all possible blossom it is sunflowers, vibrant in their golden hue, that makes room in his throat. It is a soft itchiness that begins from his heart insistently crawling up to his throat and out of his mouth each coughing fit that visits him. They pull the weariness thin over his face, makes the slump of his shoulders even more pronounced.

 

They’re always a vibrant sunny shade, the petals, pristine yellow turning into an ugly shower of yellow and red into his shaking hands. No matter the pain they cause him, the fleetingness of their existence, it's undeniable they are beautiful.

 

“Do you want some water?”

 

A cold hand caressed his cheeks, rough, small palm gently guiding him to face upwards.

 

“I think I need more than just water for this.”

 

“Kyungsoo…” His brother’s brown eyes hold a sadness in them. One he doesn’t like to see. Doesn’t like to dwell on the pity he finds there. He understand the worry, understand it all to well, but it’s shameful to see it all laid bare before him. Kyungsoo turns away, eyes falling on the scattered petals on his lap instead.

 

The petals are wilting, crumbling into nothingness. They always die, as if to remind him how pointless it is to love someone who does not return his affections.

 

“Sorry, hyung.” He squeezed his brother's hand in a small attempt of comfort, the metallic taste in his tongue not quite gone. “Water would be nice.”

 

His brother moved away, the loose strands of brown hair bouncing as he reach for the pitcher and glass on his side table. Kyungsoo watches silently. Junmyeon looks humble and sweet, reliable. Someone who seems to give in easily, but Kyungsoo knows the strength and determination that lies underneath the polo shirt and faded jeans. Junmyeon had always been the strong one between them. The stubborn one.

 

“Hyung.” He calls softly, voice coming out squeaky. Like a child. He averts his gaze in shame. The cotton of his shirt feels uncomfortably hot and his fingertips play at the printed design. A wolf against the backdrop of a mountain range, howling at a far away moon. He wishes he can be as brave, be as confident with expressing his feelings.

 

“Yes?”

 

A glass, nearly full, is shoved under his gaze and Kyungsoo looks up at Junmyeon’s nonchalant expression, the worry in his eyes deceivingly gone.

 

Kyungsoo hesitates a little, accepting and drinking from the cup to bide his time. The water is tepid but refreshing. Soothing as it glide down his throat but also amped up the taste of blood and Kyungsoo could not drink more than a couple of sips.

 

“I know what you're going to. say.” Junmyeon comments.

 

“...you do?”

 

“You’re going to ask me to keep this as a secret.”

 

Kyungsoo bit his lips. His brother knows him too well.

 

“Just for a bit.” He murmurs. “I don’t know--”

 

“I can’t keep quiet about this. You’re not just coughing up petals Kyungsoo, you’re coughing up blood too! Who knows what else you’re going to heave up later?!”

 

“It’s not like this is fatal.”

 

“What? Not fatal? Are you going to wait until it becomes irreversible!” Kyungsoo grips his shoulders, and shakes him. “This needs to stop. You need to tell him or I will.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“He’s... happy.”

 

“Jesus christ! Kyungsoo do you actually believe that?”

 

“I…” He trailed off, mind flying towards Chanyeol.

 

“Chanyeol hasn’t been happy since you moved out your room and crashed here.” says Junmyeon. “He hasn’t been happy since you began avoiding him. He mopes around Yixing, drags Sehun everywhere and drinks with Minseok every weekend. Hell, I even see him hanging out with those wild red girls, what’s her name? Joohyun’s--”

 

“J-Joohyun noona?” Kyungsoo squeaks out, mind supplying long black, porcelain skin and a smile as pretty as a dove. “Uhm. Are they--?”

 

Chanyeol has always been one of the popular kids, the friendliest, and Kyungsoo’s not surprised A pretty girl, the mature and soft around the edges type. A demure girl, very different from him, who exudes femininity and polite conversation. Chanyeol never likes boring and Kyungsoo, he’s as interesting as a rock.

 

“Are they what?”

 

“Uhm… y-you know.”

 

“No. God no. Ew.” Junmyeon makes a face, pallor suddenly green. “Wait! Kyungsoo is that. Do you think he’s banging Joohyun or something?”

 

“...Aren’t they dating?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Oh my god.” He can hear the laughter threatening to spill out his brother’s lips. “Are you hiding this because you think you have no chance with Chanyeol? You think he has a girlfriend so you shouldn’t confess your crush?”

 

“It’s not just that.” Kyungsoo feels his face warming. “I know I have no chance. I mean. Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol is Chanyeol you know. He’s just. I-I can’t”

 

“No.” Junmyeon pats his cheeks. “Kyungsoo, I need you to talk to him and clear up the misunderstanding between you.”

 

“But.”

 

Junmyeon clicks his tongue. “Ah… Kyungsoo, you’re so dense it can be frustrating. Look, believe me when I say that Chanyeol likes you a lot. It’s not like he’ll shame you so you better confess to him and end this miserable cloud raining down the both of you. More than anything, it’ll stop that flower fountain you got going on too.”

 

He stays quiet. Words turning and memories spinning. He thinks of Chanyeol and a longing blooms in his heart, rapidly growing and pushing flower petals out his mouth.

 

They are messy this time, a cloud of yellow shower that strengthened his pain and built his resolve.

 

Kyungsoo knows he likes Chanyeol. No. He loves Chanyeol. Nothing else will be more painful than not even saying anything about it, hiding this affection grown through years of unforeseen companionship and slow budding friendship.

 

“You’re right, hyung.” He tells Junmyeon. “I have to tell him even if he might not feel the same way.”

 

“Good.” Junmyeon smiles down at him, eyes turning into soft crescents. “Besides, Kyungsoo, please don’t forget I’m the one dating Joohyun. I was going to say Chanyeol’s hanging out with one of her hoobae’s, the tall one.”

 


End file.
